Death of the knucklehead

Have you ever seen one of the two-wheeled "scooters" on which you stand and zip down the sidewalk? I was nearly run down by one the other day. Some people, too lazy to walk, are willing to pony up a big wad of cash for one of these moronic devices. We pedestrians have to run for our lives when one of these Segway scooter loonies comes whizzing down the sidewalk at us. Why do these stupid devices exist? They're not for people who genuinely have trouble walking. You have to stand on these things; people with leg trouble need to sit. These devices are for lazy middle-class lumps with too much money to spend.

Well, there's news to report from lazy lump land. The owner of the Segway company has died in an accident. How? You guessed it. He was riding on one of his scooters and he ran off a cliff and he went splat. How's that for the karma of modern technology? Talk about diminishing returns! Evidently he was "inspecting" his estate in Yorkshire and zigged when he should have zagged. My guess is that this late middle-aged child was hot dogging around his grounds with one too many beers in his belly, and he lost control of his toy and crashed. An all-too familiar story among adolescents--including the arrested kind.

One nuisance down, how many to go?

Read it here